Poetry

Coda

IMG_3759A tomorrow without hope of your face
is made sweeter by the hope
of a word-
little ghosts everyday,
no longer feared, but friends
holding my hand from 10 to midnight,
filling my belly and
closing my eyes
as they run through
my fingers

Advertisements
Poetry

Filling Out

1075863_10200536037789070_1863756236_n

You’re filling out along the edges, as though
instead of growing into yourself,
you’re building out for everyone else-
Piling on their eyes like armor,
cushioning your fragile face
in God and Glory and
whatever other wonders you find
in the hymn-soaked halls
where you raise your voice in prayer
instead of passion Continue reading “Filling Out”

Flash Fiction

Déjà Vu

10348355_10202644156370717_1045613093012846013_n

My phone rang this morning while I stood at my desk, dealing with the usual barrage of problems that weren’t mine- an unidentified number from Seattle, WA. I don’t answer calls while I’m working, but there it was: Seattle, WA. So I answered, hasty, tight with panic that didn’t belong to 8:53 AM on a Thursday.

An unearned déjà vu flooded my ears before sound; a familiarity I have neither written nor spoken, but indelible nonetheless from the countless times played in my head: endless visions of disaster. Visions of answering an unknown number and hearing you, calling from the other end of a gun to say goodbye. Calling from a payphone next to a ditch, at the nasty end of a bender. Calling from the top of a building, from the middle of a bridge, from the edge of a cliff, from the bottom of a well. Do they have many of those in Washington? Continue reading “Déjà Vu”

Blog

In Defense of Getting Bored

Scan 129.jpgI’m a bad reader.

Like many other things I’ve accomplished in my life due purely to a desire to prove other people wrong, I learned how to read out of spite. To make a long childhood story short, I skipped the majority of 2nd grade thanks less to a belief in my academic abilities, and more to a surprisingly effective attitude that I would be ok because I had no other choice. Coming out of a Los Angeles hippie commune filled with celebrity children and teachers who believed I would do things when I “was ready”, I found myself in a summer school program designed to keep kids with working mothers occupied, unable to write in print, and unable to read. Continue reading “In Defense of Getting Bored”

Flash Fiction

Impossible Odds

Version 2I don’t think it’s love that’s a lie, but maybe the way that we tell it. What are the odds of happiness, anyway? The American Dream seems statistically unlikely, when you think about it.

When I left you I thought it was, in a word, impossible. Impossible to have happened, impossible to live with. Even leaving halfway across the world didn’t seem quite far enough to make you Gone. What followed was a year that didn’t feel real; twelve months in someone else’s job, reminding myself that this suspended foreign reality was temporary, and that I would go home and go on with my life because there were no other choices, even if you wouldn’t be there anymore. I opened the cracked window above my head that slanted over the roof of my little blue room up in the mossy, cloudy spires of Somewhere New, and I thought about my choices. London lay in stone before me- infinite possibility still so limited by time and money and energy. By me. I hadn’t slept in months, between the best and the worst of the last year, and I couldn’t sleep then.

Continue reading “Impossible Odds”

Blog

Mr. Z

festival-tom-and-lemon-croppedAs the sun starts to peek out from behind the unusually grey February clouds, a young woman’s mind turns to Festival Season: where the flower crowns fund Etsy shops for the winter months, and CamelBak sales are at their urban retail peak. Aside from the one vacation day a year I ration for the glory of overpriced beer and extortive merchandising, my favorite festivals mean a weekend sighting of the Bay Brigadoon: my Bestie, BFF, Biffles, the Only Long Distance Relationship I Believe In, the notorious Mr. Zen. Continue reading “Mr. Z”